Dear Megat
I do not know how "your cat is well' ended with 'your cat has 4 months to live." It began and ended with those 7 words in a space of 3 days. I would not know how I would take it if the doc had said those words to me - "You have 4 months to live." What would I have done?
But this letter is for you. I do not know who had got it wrong for you. What were all those reviews for, all those days and months? It may be all of our faults for not looking at you enough or caring for you enough or for being too trusting that all will go well. Then again it may be none of our faults. It may be on of those things that life throws at you when you think you are looking. Life is strange that way Megat.
Do I keep a calendar and count down for 4 months or less and cross the dates out day after day? Do I get you chemotherapy and hope that you have a longer life. Is that selfish of me to wish you a longer life? I do not know. But know this - that I will do what it takes to give you what I think is best and I have to trust that it is the best that I can do.
This blog is more for me than for you. I think you should know that. I am better at writing down things. I will want to keep a record of what happens to you so I would remember things and maybe some way down the road, I would be able to figure out all this for myself.
I am sorry.
